ignitethesky | IC Contact / Forge Messaging

Colonel.

[A pause. She's been working herself up to leaving this message all afternoon and she suddenly thinks maybe she's not ready even now. But it's too late to turn back because she's already begun.]

I'm sorry. For everything I put you through for the last few days. I don't know what happened to me. It may have been an effect of the Mist or something of that sort. But there is no excuse for what I've done to you.

[A breath. And sadly, that was the easy part. There is a moment of quiet before she manages to continue.]

I don't feel anything for Sebastian. I don't think I ever really did, but I thought I did. I was convinced of it at the time, but I know now that it wasn't real.

[And if she was speaking with anyone but Roy Mustang her voice there might have shown how much it angered her to have her feelings - her life - manipulated, how upset she was with herself that she hadn't been able to tell it was happening. But she has no grounds for any of that with him, who was hurt by her fault. So instead there is only contrition and a level tone.]

I did kiss him. It's only fair that you should know that before you make any judgments. But nothing else happened between us. And you should also know... that it would have been you. I would have chosen you over him, even if those feelings hadn't gone away. It will always be you. I think maybe... it always has been.

But I'll understand if you want nothing more to do with me in that regard. I do hope you will continue to allow me to be your bodyguard, whatever you may decide. It may be asking a lot, and maybe its selfish, but if nothing else please let me be sure that you are safe.

Lieutenant...

[He's not really sure what to say, though he's certainly not angry or upset with her. After what she just said, he doesn't know if he could be angry or upset.]

It's just a kiss. It doesn't mean anything... and I don't want you to beat yourself up over it. You've been through enough. [Although it doesn't stop him from feeling incredibly relieved to know he wasn't competing with anybody that he knew of.]

Also, I don't recall having relieved you of your position, so you're stuck with me for a little while longer.

[She's silent for a moment, and then she lets out the breath she'd been holding. He is somehow always able to do this, to take away her fears with just a few words and the sound of his voice. She doesn't know how he does it but she hopes he never ever stops.]

Thank you. I'm glad you aren't upset. Not that you wouldn't have a right to be. I wouldn't hold it against you if you were.

[No, she'd just hold it against herself.]

[She smiles, at ease again, and her voice takes on even more warmth and the tiniest bit of mock-exasperation.]

Good thing, too, sir. I'm afraid to think of the trouble you'd have gotten yourself into without me.

Edited 2011-02-22 04:31 (UTC)

I can't be upset over something that wasn't your fault, and even if it were, I wouldn't be able to blame you for it because I know that it happens.

[And in response to that mock-exasperation, he goes for feigned shock, though there's laughter in his tone.]

You make it sound as though I'm some sort of walking disaster!

It doesn't happen to me, though. I don't just kiss anyone. I hate how it seems so easy for the mist to get into my head. You'd think it would eventually get bored with me.

[And a light, joking sigh.]

Of course not, sir. But you are adept at attracting trouble.

[Then softer, warmer, and more serious.]

But that's all right. Because it's you.

I suppose there's a first time for everything, then, though I do understand your sentiments about the mist. I should consider myself lucky that I escaped it this time.

[...]

Which is precisely why I can't fire you.

...besides, I seem to recall having tried that once and you refused to be fired.

I would if I were you. I think I prefer the monsters to the mind games.

Quite true, sir. I can't allow you to fire me while you still need me. So I suppose you're stuck with me as well.

I would have to agree on that. At least the scars left by physical attacks heal relatively quickly. Those left by emotional injury and mental trauma tend to linger long after the event itself has passed.

It would be a lie if I said I mind being stuck with you, though I feel sorry for you having to be stuck with me.

[She's a little slow to reply, momentarily too busy wishing the mist would have given her the choice to add another ugly scar to her collection rather than having put him and herself through what had happened this last week.]

... very true. And old scarred skin can't do nearly as much damage as dredging up a painful memory.

[And behold, the subtle sound of a smirk in her tone.]

You're not so bad, Colonel. I would even say fairly tolerable. It also helps that I am extremely patient.

Though, some of them act as triggers for said memories.

"Fairly tolerable"? I haven't gotten into nearly as much trouble here as I have at home, so either I've gotten better or I'm just getting warmed up.

... yes. But there are some things, no matter how painful, which shouldn't be forgotten.

[She doesn't resent her own scars for that reason. All of them are lessons, things she should never forget written down on her skin.]

If I were the type to make bets, I'd know which of those to put my money on. I'm convinced you're just lacking the home court advantage. I'm sure before long, you'll be back to getting yourself into copious amounts of trouble.

Aw, come on, I'm not that bad!

Mm... no. You aren't. But even if you were, I'd still stay by your side.

Are you feeling better now?

... yes. I think I am. Thank you.

Good, because that means I don't have to resort to embarrassing myself to cheer you up.

[A soft sound, almost a laugh.]

Well, I wouldn't stop you if you had something planned.

Or I could save it in the event there ever comes a time when I would need it.

...like another time such as this, or a second date, or something completely random.

Edited 2011-02-23 06:37 (UTC)

Ah. And of course you wouldn't want to be without it in the event that you should have a need of it. For a second date... or something random.

Exactly. And if I save it, it'll give me more time to plan it out for maximum effect.

Well then, by all means, sir. Hold onto it.

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